Christmas was my favorite holiday growing up. The memories of Christmas at home with my family are the best I got. When you’re a kid you don’t think about anything but having fun and enjoying yourself. It’s later that you realize what all that really meant.
Christmas ‘94; I was married to my first wife at the time. 4 days before the big day and the phone rang at like 5:30 in the morning. It was my mother and said I had to come to the house right away - she said something about my father and i knew her voice wasn’t right. I drove from Jersey to Staten Island, to the house I grew up in, and I knew the whole way - I could feel he had died. I remember walking into the living room and seeing the look on everyone’s faces and I knew my life was all of a sudden different, I was 32 and my dad was dead.
He had lung cancer but didn’t tell anyone, not even my mother, he was like that. He didn’t want anyone to worry or feel bad for him. In the back of my mind I’ve always questioned if I told him I loved him enough, did I do this, did I do that? My dad was good to me. I never felt like I had made it - as a comic - until I heard him telling his friends that’s what I did for a living. From then on Christmas has always been a mixed bag.
I’ve mentioned it before but I stopped drinking in October and that means doubling down on the Lexapro and Xanax to calm my nerves and anxiety. I heard it would be tough to kick the Xanax from a few people so I’ve been cutting down the last 2 weeks but I was feeling the effects. Sunday the 23rd as I was driving to Sirius to do Miserable Men. I was like 3 blocks away and I started to feel light headed. I felt so stressed out and went into a bit of a panic attack, I parked my car and thought about sitting down on the bench or trying to make it around the corner. I decided to keep walking and had a cigarette out front of the studio. I thought I might die - I couldn’t catch my breath. I just stood there, light headed, thinking about my dad and my son, Christmas and my career…
I pulled myself together thanks to two New York hot dogs courtesy of my good friend Geno Bisconte. I was OK by the time Miserable Men started but I decided to cut down to one pill a day instead of the 3.05 mg’s I’m supposed to take. I had to make sure I was in tip top shape for the opening of my Comedy Club in Levittown, Pa.
My girlfriend Chrissy flew in for the opening. I was, all of a sudden, really nervous about the debut because I had kind of decided that I was going to propose to her on stage if I killed during my set. I was thumbing the ring box in my pocket and the room was packed with friends and fans. So, after I ate blue cheese out of a girl’s ass to close the show, I called Chrissy up on-stage. She walked up halfway and then stopped with a confused look, she later told me she was scared I was going to try to eat something out of her ass. I kept telling her, “Come here, come here”. So she came on stage and I told her I loved her and pulled the ring out of my pocket and asked her to marry me.
In true Stern/Kidd Chris fan fashion, someone yelled out, “Get on one knee, asshole!” and the place went nuts. So I got on one knee, almost blew my back out, and asked her to marry me again. She was stunned and had her hands over her face for what seemed like an hour. I asked her again, “Will you marry me?” She said yes.
Traffic was horrible getting back into the city and we were late meeting Lisa from Howard 101 but still made it to the studio in time for Miserable Men. The show went great, the callers had a great time making fun of me for getting married again. There were a few well wishes, too.
Next Week - New Year’s in Philly with Artie Lang!
Tip of The Week- If you’re going to get engaged in front of an audience, get on one knee or someone will call you an asshole.
-The Reverend Bob Levy
You can get more of the Rev Bob every Sunday night at 7:00 pm on his radio show Miserable Men, Sirius Satellite Radio - Howard 101.Original Post from HotMovies the Blog