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DamNation w/ The Reverend Bob Levy

Reverend Bob Levy Tuesday, February 5, 2008
I meet assholes everywhere I go.

I moved out of my ex-wife’s house this week. It was supposed to be a joyous event. Christine, my soon-to-be wife, helped me pack up all of my Earthly possessions and load them into the car. I’m not gonna lie, it was a little depressing to learn everything I own easily fits into four duffel bags stacked neatly into the back seat of my car. Living this long you’d think I’d need to make at least two trips.

When the big day arrived Christine and I woke up early so we could pick up the keys and get the movers - well - moving. The lady at the Realtor’s made everything run real smooth for me and rushed the my paper work on the spot. I’m thinking, “lucky me.” She said she was a big fan so I ate her ass after I signed the lease.

Then we get to our new place to find Christine’s furniture out on the sidewalk and the movers standing around diddling themselves. Some maintenance guy with a missing a tooth told us we couldn’t move in till the inspector comes.

“That woman whose ass I ate out said we could move in right now.”

“I didn’t hear nothing about nobody. You’re going to have to leave your shit on out here.”

Thanks a lot, asshole.

So, we waited outside in the cold untill this lazy cunt finally showed up a hour and a half later. She had a look on her face like she just tasted her own stinky twat and after 5 minutes of pretending to inspect shit she let us bring our stuff in.

Then yesterday my son came over to meet Christine for the first time, we were both nervous but it went great. Everybody played nice except for the fucking neighbor. We’re hanging out having a great time doing nothing in particular when the guy downstairs came up and knocked on the door. He said I’m blah blah blah from downstairs it sounds like you people are coming through the ceiling!

I had to do a double take; I don’t run for shit and there’s no fatties in here. I was like we were just walking around, buddy. I didn’t know what the fuck he heard but I said sorry about that. Of course he’s not going to let it out of his teeth. I seen him when I went to pick up the mail today and he had to drop comments.

It’s like here we go again. I’m a magnet for crappy neighbors. I don’t know if he’s the king dick yet but if he is I will put that fucker in his place if I have to. I would love for him to start some shit - I’ll make his life as miserable as mine.

Can’t let all the haters get me down, though, got a busy week coming up. I gotta head to Sirius in NYC to host a special that’s gonna air during an upcoming vacation for the Stern Show and tape something for Howard TV. Meanwhile, I’m getting up at 5:30 am everyday to produce gold for the Kidd Chris Show. Then, tomorrow, rush home for bowling with my son (not an asshole) and dinner with Brad the Cripple (total asshole).

The faces and places change but the assholes are all the same.

-The Reverend Bob Levy

You can get more of the Rev Bob every Sunday night at 7:00 pm on his radio show Miserable Men, Sirius Satellite Radio - Howard 101.

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