We got there Friday night and went out with some friends to a nice Italian restaurant in Beverly Hills before retiring to our hotel, which was some boutique style modern hotel. In other words, it was a small room with funny looking shit in it. The room was so small that when I came it landed on the TV which was on the other side of the room. It was nice to see my kids on TV.
We woke up early in the morning and just relaxed in the hotel room all day before the show. At 5 we went to the lobby to meet Nick DiPaulo and Pete Dominick. Nick turned around and we realized we were dressed exactly the same. Black leather jackets, the same green colored shirts, jeans and black boots. He looked at me and said with his Boston accent and charm, “What do we have to call each other next time to see what we’re wearing?” So after 10 minutes of us looking at each other and laughing he asked if I had another shirt to change into, so I went upstairs and changed.
When our ride came, which was Nick’s agent, Nick didn’t even recognize him from the window. Nick was hilarious on the ride over, he was on the attack the whole time, asking his agent, “What part of this car did I pay for?”
So the 4 of us jammed ourselves in this tiny Audi TT convertable for the ride over to Artie’s hotel. We got to the hotel and had to wait about 15 minutes before we left for the venue, on the limo ride over Nick trashed everyone he saw on the street walking by, he’s hilarious and had us in stitches the whole time, he’s one of the funniest guys you can hang out with.
We got to check out the arena from the stage and it was unbelievable. Nick asked us to take a picture of him at the mike from behind with 6,000 empty seats in front of him for his new CD cover. The man is brilliant. Then the band came out and told Artie what t hey were going to and they asked Artie if he wanted them to smash a guitar at the end of their set. Artie got a look on his face that I’ve seen before and it wasn’t good.
The show started and the band, The Bleeding Deacons, took the stage. I don’t know exactly what time they started, but when I finally got up by the side of the stage Artie was losing his mind and I’ve never seen him like that. They seemed to be going over their time and the crowd was yelling for them to get off the stage. I heard them ask the crowd if they wanted one more song and got a mixed reaction. They got off the stage and Artie lost it on them like I’ve never heard, “You cocksockers ruined my show”.
It was a big night for all of us, there were a ton of agents and industry people there and we were already overbooked on the show, so he told me and Jimmy Palumbo that we may not be able to come on now. I told Artie that everything will be fine and I know how to do this and get the crowd back. I told Jimmy that if he doesn’t feel comfortable to bail and he handled it really well and did great. I cut my time to 5 minutes and went out there at 100 miles an hour and killed and felt great that I was able to hand the audience over to the other comedians and the crowd was perfectly primed for comedy again.
Pete Dominick did a great job hosting and keeping them in control. The rest of the show went great, I was hanging outside and these 2 guys were trying to get backstage and I then realized that one of them was Ryan Phillippe and that security was giving them trouble about coming in the VIP area. He’s a huge fan of the show and we hung out with him for about 40 minutes just bullshitting about the show and Beetlejuice. There were a lot of celebrities there and it was a great time hanging out with everyone after the show.
Got about 4 hours of sleep before we had to leave at 5 AM for the airport. So we get on the plane and I’m in the middle seat and the fattest girl I’ve ever seen comes waddling down the aisle and of course she sits next to me in the aisle seat. She was so fat that her fat was oozing under the armrest into my seat, I couldn’t even get my seatbelt and wasn’t about to go searching for it under her. It was a 5 hour flight with me, my fiancee and Moby Chick who had me wedged into my seat.
When the breakfast came around, I hoped she was one of those fat people who doesn’t eat, but then I heard her sausage fingers ripping into the breakfast service. I tried to get a picture of this fucking hog to show the guys on Miserable Men, but then my fiancee asks me why I’ve got my phone open loud enough for the fucking air traffic controllers to hear and blew my shot.
No big deal. With my luck I’ll end up sitting next to that fat bitch again someday. Until we meet again, you big white whale.
-The Reverend Bob Levy
You can get more of the Rev Bob every Sunday night at 7:00 pm on his radio show Miserable Men, Sirius Satellite Radio - Howard 101.
Also Check RevBobLevy.com for all show dates, and info.