I picked up Beetle and headed for the airport, once again he told me about all the go-go dancers he fucked in the ass, there’s nothing like a cup of coffee and a good ass fucking story by Beetlejuice to start any long journey.
We got to the airport, checked our stuff in, walked over towards the gate, looked in the bar and saw the back of Richard Christy’s head. Beet looked at me and said, “Look, there’s that drunk dumbass”. Then we run into Sal and he says Christy’s been drinking the whole morning.
So, we got on the plane and Richard starts having a panic attack, he pulls out a couple little bottles of Vodka and starts downing them. One gulp to a bottle. When the plane took off he put the tray table down, gripped both edges and stared into oblivion making sure to look at nothing specific. When we got in the air he pulled out two more bottles of vodka and downed them, too. I’ve never seen someone with so little to lose so scared of dying before.
We got to St Louis, got some good stuff on tape, had a great show and the next day we had to drive to Indiana. I ended up sleeping so good that night that they had to bang on my door the next morning to wake me up, they thought I ODed. We got to the show and were hanging out in the back drinking, fucking around like we always do and Beet says, “Fuck you!” to me and we started laughing. All of a sudden the Iron Shiek flipped out and yelled at Beet, “you don’t say fuck you to Bob Levy” and Beet told him to fuck off and fuck Bob Levy, too. The Shiek was yelling that you don’t talk like that to the boss and they started fighting. Beetle didn’t back down and told Shiek to hit him in the head with a bottle, that he would knock him the fuck out. Then the Shiek threw a full drink at Beet but ended up hitting Richard square on the chest, soaking his suit jacket and getting it on his face.
Sure I laughed, we all laughed. But it was a weird situation and you can kind of see The Shiek’s days are numbered with the Killers Of Comedy. Make sure to check out The Beetlejuice/Iron Shiek fight on Howard TV this week, in the “Post Contest” episode.
The next day and we got back in town I realized mine and Sal’s luggage was not there. They said because of the weight restriction on the plane they had to take luggage off. So I started yelling about Delta and how shitty they are to the people behind the desk. I harassed them on the phone the whole next day and it was fun listening to them bullshit me and me calling them on it. To be perfectly honest I didn’t even care that much. Fucking idiots dragged it out so long I’ve got enough new material on airports to last me through retirement.
I got Kidd Chris’ birthday Friday night and a gig with Artie Lang on Saturday.
See you all next week, I’m sure I’ll have some good stories from the Kidd Chris party.
-The Reverend Bob Levy
You can get more of the Rev Bob every Sunday night at 7:00 pm on his radio show Miserable Men, Sirius Satellite Radio - Howard 101.
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