A Dog's Thoughts on Twitter

Since us humans are obviously not thinking clearly or rationally, here is a dog's thoughts on Twitter. Starring Barry the Talking Dog.

Best Quarterback Ever

Galz is officially the best quarterback ever, in the history of the NFL and the world. Chuck Norris is a slow old man, and throws like a girl, while Galz is quick on his feet, and has an arm like a cannon. You have just been Galzed.

Highest Jump Ever

Galz officially completes the Highest Jump Ever made, in the history of the world, shattering the World Record. If Chuck Norris took steroids and HGH for 2 straight years, he still wouldn't be able to jump anywhere near as high as Galz. You have just been Galzed.

Longest Alley Oop Ever

Galz officially completes the Longest Alley Oop Ever made, in the history of the world. Chuck Norris created the fighting style "Chun Kuk Do" by combining elements from every combat style he knows, while Galz created his own original style, which consists of nothing but hay makers. You have just been Galzed.

Best Baseball Catch Ever

Galz records the best baseball catch ever in the history of the world. Chuck Norris has recently been eating a ton of junk food to quickly gain an extra 20 pounds of fat, so he would no longer be in Galz's weight class. Galz went to the gym for 1 day, and caught up by adding 20 pounds of muscle. You have just been Galzed.

Basketball Nightmare

Galz plays 1 on 1 against James Catusco, the Worst Basketball Player Ever.

Most Charismatic Person Ever

Galz is officially the Most Charismatic Person Ever, in the history of the world. Chuck Norris carries a man purse, just in case he runs into Galz, so he can easily hand over all of his belongings in one shot.

Amazing Talking Dog

Barry the Talking Dog is the coolest talking dog on the internet! We included subtitles to help understand what he's saying.

Best Football Catch Ever

Galz officially completes the Best Football Catch Ever made, in the history of the world.

Chuck Norris wants Texas to secede from the Union because 1. He is off his rocker and 2. He wants to be assured that he is protected from the wrath of Galz. You have just been Galzed.

Galz Speaks Out

Galz addresses the public for the first time, speaking out about James Catusco, the Worst Basketball Player Ever, who grew up in the same hometown.

Is Galz cooler than James Catusco? Leave a comment with your answer!