My Resume (Multi-Talented)

Adam Schleichkorn Friday, March 14, 2008 , ,
I'd like to use this as my resume for any job openings out there. Obviously you can see that I pretty much do it all. Please contact Hidden Track TV2 if you're interested in hiring me.

In all seriousness, these are the many hilarious talents of Hidden Track TV's Adam Schleichkorn. I originally made this video about 5 years ago. It's a joke, get over it. I didn't leave out that I'm a jerk or an idiot, so save your hater comments, you jerks!

Music by Peter Toh, made available by


Top 10 Mainstream Movies

Dan Taft
I am a film snob. I hate every stupid movie that you love. You really don’t know shit about movies, do you? Well luckily for you, I do. So for the benefit of your miserable little life, here are the top 10 mainstream movies of all eras:

10. The Usual Suspects - Greatest twist ending ever, all star cast, and a great group of characters make The Usual Suspects one of the best mainstream movies of all time.

9. Casablanca - Humphrey Bogart was the original dude you just don’t fuck with. Awesome story, great cinematography, and a fantastic ending will have people touting this film as one of the all time greats for years and years to come.

8. The Big Lebowski - In my modest opinion, this is the best comedy ever. It’s extremely clever and witty, and aside from being genuinely hilarious, it also has a terrific story. This movie caused me to start drinking caucasians at 10 in the morning every day. It also contains the funniest car accident ever caught on tape. Another film with a ridiculous cast- “Nobody fucks with the Jesus.”

7. The Shining - Probably the scariest horror movie ever. Jack Nicholson, who probably isn’t much different from Jack Torrance in real life, is arguable the scariest human being on the face of the planet. I once stumbled into this film while tripping on mushrooms during the scene where Jack is chasing Danny through the maze calling his name- let’s just say I had to immediately leave the room.

6. Schindler’s List - I love Liam Neeson, but it always seems like he dies about 15 minutes into every film he’s in. Not this one- maybe I’m biased because I’m a big Jew, but if you don’t cry while watching this movie then you’re just going straight to hell. (Jews don’t believe in hell)

5. Shawshank Redemption - I really don’t like Stephen King, so why the hell am I putting 2 movies on this list that came from his fucking books? God I hate myself.

4. Psycho - My favorite director, the most imitated talent in all of film’s history, Mr. Alfred Hitchcock, created this masterpiece. The shower scene displays his mastery of lighting and camera work, and the film just overall kicks your ass, Eli Roth, you talentless hack. C’mon Tarrentino, you made Pulp Fiction, please don’t put your name on a crap-fest like hostel. Sorry for going off on a tangent, Alfred- you truly are the King of Kings.

3. Star Wars - Changed “movies” forever- the reason this movie was so great, aside from the ahead of their time special effects, was the heretofore unknown cast, led by Harrison Ford, who was just so fucking charismatic that I almost threw my panties at the screen. Not every movie needs a big name to sell it. Try using actors that can actually act- Samuel L. Jackson should not be in any Star Wars movie! Before George Lucas became a huge useless moron who made 3 of the turdiest pieces of shit ever, he actually made some unbelievably awesome stuff. What happened to you Lucas?

2. The Godfather Part II - Robert De Niro is the man- this is clearly the best Godfather movie, although the first one was great too. This is what you call a true masterpiece. Shout out to the Godfather of the Jewish Mafia, Mr. Mo Green!

1. The Wizard of Oz - Shut up! This movie was released in 1939, in Technicolor! And it links up to Dark Side of The Moon- at least if you’re a no good dirty hippie! Seriously though, watch any other movie from the 1930s or 40’s and tell me it’s as entertaining as The Wizard of Oz- the film is just timeless.

Norm MacDonald on the Larry Sanders Show

Adam Schleichkorn ,
I just recently realized how incredible the Larry Sanders Show was. Besides the concept of a show about a Late Night TV Show being brilliant, the cast was also, which included Gary Shandling, Jeffrey Tambor, Rip Torn; even Janine Garofalo and Jeremy Piven when they were young as hell. This clip I found on Youtube is a scene with Norm Macdonald as a guest on the show, and next to him on the couch is Henry Winkler, aka the Fonz. If that's not a recipe for hilarity, I don't know what is!


Viral Video of the Day (3/14/08)

Adam Schleichkorn ,

Nine Inch Nails' Ghosts Film Festival - Introduction

Nine Inch Nails have just released a free download of a 9 track instrumental album. If that isn't sweet enough, they're making this whole album usable to the general public for a contest on Youtube! I don't want to say that this new phenomenon of stars wanting regular joes on Youtube to make videos to their music, and I don't want to say "we told you so", but we told you so! Anyway, here's the video with their description, along with the spot to get the free download, and the details on entering the contest...

To expand the idea of the "Ghosts" project, we're inviting anyone and everyone to create visuals to accompany the album's music. In a few months, we'll be gathering the entries we feel are particularly exceptional and highlighting them. There are no rules to this - be as creative as you like. Create a music video, or a short film, or something completely abstract. Use only one track from the album, or use multiple tracks. Only one caveat: Incorporating copyrighted materials (clips from movies, music by other artists, etc) into your video might limit our ability to feature it in the future.

To submit your video, join the Ghosts group at and add your video to the group.

To get the free download of the first 9 tracks, or to purchase the full 36 track album go to

Greatest Hits

I can finally concede my sanity is fading. My most recent delusion is that I think every woman customer service representative has the hots for me. I have a habit of making non-threatening quips that cause them to laugh and/or make a quip of their own. With this shell of comradery formed, I think they want to fuck me. It's pathetic. Lung cancer can't come soon enough.

Child support is the white trash lottery.

I wonder about people who repeat the same stories over and over again. Is it some kind narcissistic endeavor to hear themselves speak? Maybe it's a fear of forgetting that initiates this circular verbal dance. Shit, it could be that they actually forgot telling you in the first, possibly, tenth place. Lack of original thought? Drug induced brain malfunction? Whatever the fuck it is, stop. Not just for my sake (primarily), but for countless others that feel like their temporal lobes are eroding. Trust me, I'm not taking notes so I can produce the lowest rated A&E "Biography" ever.

Guys who wear button fly pants secretly want a vagina.

Cable networks like TBS, USA and TNT need to stop catering to white, single fat 35 year old women. Stop showing any movie starring Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, Meg Ryan and/or Hugh Grant. Sad to say, but a cinephile like myself, has seen films with this quartet of vomit inducing overactors. They prey on the unrealistic dreams and feminine insecurities of the pathetic masses of yard sale shoppers. Trust me ladies. No handsome Yale graduate who's hero is their grandfather and has a fondness for children is going to sweep you off your feet and save you from working at the D.M.V. for the rest of your life. Get a Bowflex and sell yourself short like everyone else.

Schizophrenia usually becomes apparent in your 20's.

Everyone has that Shady Friend. He's the guy that says he'd never do cocaine, but secretly buys grams to get fat coke whores to blow him in his parent's basement. He's the guy that fucks the chick who's ex-boyfriend is a bi-sexual hemophiliac heroin addict and says to you, "But she's hot, dude". He's the guy that believes that his Jesus Fish atones for his sins of stealing his best friend's baseball card collection and refusing to pay for his ex-girlfriend's abortion. Fuck this guy. He's mildly funny, but he'll screw you over at the drop of a dime and usually gets you into situations where prison and/or an ambulence ride are highly probable. His counter parts equally in need of death sentences are the Born Again Virgins. Seriously ladies, we know you're full of shit. You've had more semen shot onto your stomach than Tera Patrick. No one wears that much blue eyeshadow and licks their lips that much has their cherry is still intact. The only people who believe you are your parents and they're in denial. Find a new racket, you sleeper cell of V.D.

It's been 5,972 days since Magic Johnson announced he had H.I.V.

Check Out the Duce

Adam Schleichkorn Thursday, March 13, 2008 , , ,
Hidden Track TV2 is uploading new videos every couple of days, and is slowly becoming another powerhouse for entertaining content. Click the link above and subscribe to help us continue our climb up the charts! Here's "Only Chance" by Peter Toh -


March Madness!

Adam Schleichkorn ,
With the conference tournaments underway, March Madness has officially begun! This is pretty much the best couple weeks of basketball that you can possibly watch, and to get you ready for it, check out this Classic ESPN Commercial starring the great Chris Farley as Christian Laettner...


The NBA Analyst: The NBA Draft and James Catusco!

Check out this great clip of the NBA Analyst analyzing James Catusco's game! Although he may be known as the Worst Basketball Player Ever, thenbaanalyst said it himself, "James Catusco could make it to the NBA!"


I Fed You Soup!

Dan Taft ,
I was just backtracking through some of my most recent blogs on my favorite site, (plug) and I noticed something. Not too long ago I complied a list of my top ten rappers, including both Common and Black Thought, and omitting Jay-Z, Kanye, Eminem, and Sheila E. Well lo and behold, there are 2 comments below my blog. Peter Toh not only decides that my list is incorrect, but he then mentions that he never met me! The nerve!! (Yes, these statements require one, and two exclamation points respectively, Jake Jarmel!!!)
Well it just so happens that I have met Peter Toh, and a very hungry Peter Toh at that. I once fed this man left over soup out of some strange and crappy bowl apparatus at my Aunt Donna’s apartment on the Upper East Side- I know you’re about to blow up Peter but don’t you think you’re forgetting the little people a little early? Hmmm…

Viral Video of the Day (3/13/08)

Adam Schleichkorn ,

Rockets Imitate Dikembe Mutombo

Dikembe Mutombo's fellow Houston Rockets doing impressions of him, each one more hilarious than the next.


Yak Ballz - New Communication ft. Cage

Yak Ballz Wednesday, March 12, 2008 , ,
Yak Ballz performs "New Communication" live with Cage at the Record Release Show at Rebel NYC. Scifentology II out now on Itunes. Subscribe to Yak Ballz TV


Classic Music Videos - "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana

Adam Schleichkorn , ,
"Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana.


Viral Video of the Day (3/12/08)

Adam Schleichkorn ,

Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina answers a question

From the Miss Teen USA 2007 Awards Show, Ms. South Carolina answers a question, and after all this time, it is still hilarious!!


Yankees Sign Billy Crystal

Adam Schleichkorn
We now know of at least one baseball player who isn't doing HGH! USA Today reports that the New York Yankees have signed actor Billy Crystal to a one-day, minor league contract with the New York Yankees and play in Thursday's exhibition game against the Pittsburgh Pirates. Gee, it must be so great to be famous. I mean come on, he's actually playing a game with the Yankees? The New York freakin Yankees? They couldn't find a sick kid or something along those lines? Is Spike Lee going to get a similar deal with the Knicks? I heard in an attempt to compete, the New York Mets are signing City Slickers co-star Daniel Stern, but he might actually make their regular season roster!

The Late Show - Top Ten Eliot Spitzer Excuses

Adam Schleichkorn ,
I know everyone and their mother has already done a post on Eliot Spitzer, but I figured at least one minor one is definitely necessary for those of you who are living under a rock. I'll keep it short and sweet, our New York State Governor was banging hookers! I mean, come on. Anyway, here's Dave Letterman, giving his top 10 Eliot Spitzer Excuses, which are being used by half of Washington daily...


Johnny Carson - First Time Standups

Adam Schleichkorn Tuesday, March 11, 2008 ,
Here's a compilation from the Original Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, consisting of the first appearances on the show by Steve Martin, David Letterman, Jay Leno, Gary Shandling, and Eddie Murphy, before they were huge stars.


Viral Video of the Day (3/11/08)

Adam Schleichkorn ,

One Armed Basketball Player

To see Porter Ellett warming up for a high school basketball game, he looks out of place and you would expect to see him sitting on the bench, instead of the starting for Wayne High School.

"It's kind of fun to see people's reactions when they doubt you and they see you walk out on the court and wonder why you are even playing; then you get to go out and prove what you are worth," Ellett said.

Porter lost his right arm in an accident when he was a young boy. While having only one arm to compete with is a disadvantage, Porter likes the challenge, scoring 16 of his team's 50 points, with steals, rebounds and a blocked shot. His coach, Kade Morrell, calls him a natural leader for the team.

"He's got a winning attitude and he's a prime example of how far attitude can take you. It's not what happens to you, but how you react and how you deal with it that matters in life," Morrell said.

While the spotlight is on Porter much more than his team, he is the first to credit his teammates for helping him win, both on and off the court. "My teammates, my friends, I wouldn't be anything, they are my support. When other people knock me down, they are always there. They've always been positive, always told me I could do anything."


Tonight Instore @ Store in Boston

Yak Ballz

This Tuesday 3/11, I will be at the store in Boston for an instore signing/performance at 6:00 pm along with Slow Suicide Stimulus. This event is courtesy of FloSpot Records and and it's totally free of charge.
234 Huntington Ave
Boston, MA 02115

Come out, say what up, get your copy of Scifentology II, get it signed, get a free poster!


The Promoter - Episode 2

Reverend Bob Levy Monday, March 10, 2008 , , ,
The second episode of the Original Web Series titled "The Promoter", Brought to you by the Killers of Comedy of the Howard Stern Show and 3rd Floor Films. This reality show follows promoter Sequoia Slentz as he puts together two Killers of Comedy shows in 2 days.

Also Starring: The Reverend Bob Levy, Shuli, Beetlejuice, The Iron Sheik, Yucko the Clown, and Gary the Retard.

CLICK HERE to leave Comments and Rate it 5 Stars!

Music provided by:

Clean Box Entertainment -

Peter Toh -

Yak Ballz -

Nalts Uses Another Peter Toh Track

Last Week, Nalts Used a Peter Toh Track and we just saw that he used another in his latest video, Beginner's Luck. He really consistently puts out some of the best content on Youtube, and we're psyched that he keeps fitting Peter's Tracks in his videos! So check it out...

Beginner's Luck

Patch Nalts faces some bullies who claim to be better at basketball and guitar. But humble Patch comes out strong.


Top 10 Rappers

Dan Taft
Blah blah blah blah blah.

10. Nas - He’s in, Jay’s out. Sorry, but Nas’ first two albums are ridiculously strong, and after what I would call 2 rather crappy albums, “I Am” and “Nastradamus,” Nas came back big time with several more great LPs.

9. Black Thought - The Roots are the shit. Black Thought is arguably the most under-rated MC of all time, except for maybe Hammer. His rhymes are cutting and intelligent, and he’s got some serious style and a cool ass band to back him up- Quest Love where you at?

8. Rakim - Pioneer. One of, if not the first MC to rhyme multiple words in different parts of his lines, Rakim is ultra creative and has a mesmerizing voice that’s hard core without having to be explicitly violent. A true Master of Ceremonies.

7. Common Sense - One of my personal favorites, the brotha Com has been doing his thing since back in the day. I think Common has released about 7 albums, and every single one of them is off the hook. Plus he doesn’t have like 20 featured artists on each of his albums- he can actually carry the whole thing by himself.

6. Big Pun - The one who makes the kids run. Unfortunately it seems that if you are a rapper with the word Big any where in your name you are more likely to die young. That’s why you don’t see any rappers nowadays with Big in their name. True story. All I really have to say about Big Pun, is he rapped “Dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know every riddle to middle man who didn’t do diddly.” And that is why he’s the man.

5. KRS-One - Yes my son; KRS-One was the first MC, that, if you messed with him and tried to battle, your career was OVER. What’s up Shan? Mixing in the Rude Boi wickedness, KRS-One is possibly the smartest rapper to ever touch a mic. Who else raps about the falsehoods of organized religion and it’s thievery of astrology; that pretty much sums up why he’s not a mainstream rapper right there. Don’t worry though, Nelly, you really did kill him in your little battle…

4. Biggie - Biggie is kind of like everyone’s favorite rapper, at least in New York. He was one of the most descriptive MCs of all time, able to paint a perfect picture with words. His voice and his style are so unique that there really will never be anyone like him ever again. But coming from the mean streets of Bed Stuy he should’ve known not to talk shit about Kwame.

3. Tupac - He and Big will be forever linked- they are two of the most influential artists in this genre. Tupac was heartfelt, his voice was dynamic, and he really had something to say. Plus when he blew up there were a lot of really shitty rappers, kind of like now, and everyone was like, “who da fuck is dis dude?” Word.

2. Big L - If he wasn’t murdered, Big L might have been far and away the greatest rapper of all time. No one can rap like him. If you ever listen to the 7 minute “freestyle” with him and Jay-Z, you’ll hear how unbelievably ridiculous Jay-Z was. Then you’ll hear how Big L just blows an unbelievably ridiculous rapper right out of the water. They weren’t battling each other, but rapping after Big L is kind of like going on stage after George Carlin.

1. Mos Def - No one has ever rapped about more significant shit. No one can fuck with his vocab. And as smart as he is, and as cool as his style is, he’s still street. Black on Both Sides is the greatest Hip Hop album EVER. Do the following- get Black on Both Sides, get the Blackstar album, get the old Bush Babies album, and then pick up the New Danger and True Magic. This guy is a different artist on every LP. And each one of these is the shit. Really listen to the man and then tell me someone is better, cause their not.

Viral Video of the Day (3/10/08)

Adam Schleichkorn ,

3am Phone Ad Girl is Obama Supporter

Wahhhh, I'm in the Hilary Clinton commercial! That's what this 17 year old Barrack Obama supporter was (kind of) saying to the news when speaking about appearing in the now famous "3am" Hilary Clinton Campaign Commercial. The image is of her sleeping in bed, while the voice over says something along the lines of "It's 3 am and your children are sleeping. Who would you want answering the phone?" During this, the footage of the girl is shown, which was called "stock footage from 8 years ago, while she worked as a tv extra". So she's all beside herself because she's this big Obama supporter, and is rallying for him and the whole nine. Who's fault is it though? Maybe, just maybe, if her parents didn't throw her in these extra spots when she 9, she wouldn't have this "problem". Without saying it, they pretty much put it on Hillary in a subtle way, as if she had anything to do with this saying, "(Hillary) couldn't have picked a more unwilling star". Let this be a lesson to the parents out there, who feel the need to get their young kid a part as an extra in a commercial. Since it is available on Getty Images, anyone can use this clip now for a nominal fee, and she does not get any royalties or anything! So not only is she helping to endorse the candidate that she is against, but she's not even getting paid for it! I don't know much about politics, but I do know that a 17 year old girl should be hanging out at the mall, not the Democratic Conventions. I'm not choosing between the two yet, and looking like a flip-flopper, so I'll say that I'll be happy with either of the two Democrats. This is all unless I get very wealthy, in that case, I'm voting Republican!


UCLA beats Cal or did they?

UCLA beats Cal on shot with 1.5 seconds left, that would've knocked out any challenger in HORSE. This circus shot was taken from behind the backboard, and without touching anything, it went in to put UCLA ahead. But does it count? It turns out that the NCAA rule states that the ball shall be out of bounds when is passes over the backboard from any direction. Too bad the refs on the court didn't know this rule, and they counted this basketball, which ultimately gave UCLA the game with .7 seconds remaining. For some reason, it was not re viewable and the game ended in scandal. Whether it counts or not, this shot is hard enough to hit in horse, let alone while defended in crunch time in a game!


Savage Speaks: Bam Bam Bigelow

Marc Muchnik
Bam Bam Bigelow. For years I knew him as “the big guy who did cartwheels.” Despite being in a prominent role in each of the Big 3 (WCW, WWE, ECW) at some point in his career he never truly found his niche. How, oh how could this be? Look at him, awesome outfit, awesome tattoos, all over his head like a true beast, a great and unique look, killer nickname (Beast from the East). Not only that, but he could back it up in the ring. Vader is the best big man ever, but Bam Bam is right behind him. An ensigueri, a top rope headbutt. Attempted moonsaults a lot but never really got them down. But damn, Bigelow could have easily been a focal point of a promotion as EITHER a killer heel or a bad ass face. He was believable as a guy who could kick some serious ass. Why did he never get a chance to shine?

Bam Bam’s first prominent wrestling role was in WCW against Barry Windham for the US title. He wrestled as a face and they wrestled at Starrcade . Honestly, I don’t know a lot about this period for him, but the match was said to be somewhat of a disappointment on Bam Bam’s end. Unfortunately. the highlight of Bam Bam’s career in WCW the first time around was a hilarious promo that Ric Flair cut on him. As would be a theme in his career, it just never clicked and he was off to the WWE.

Bam Bam came into the WWE amidst much hub bub in the late 80s. All of the managers were vying to get him. But The Orange Goblin was atop the mountain, and business was good with him on top, brotha. Whoa Bam Bam, do I really need to give you the rub dude? Anyways, Bam Bam’s first high profile appearance in WWE was Survivor Series 1987, where he was left alone with Andre. Imagine if he had defeated the Giant, been a top face for a while as Hogan’s pal and then stab him in the back and take his title? Throw in Bobby Heenan, and you have gold Jerry, gold. Needless to say, Bam Bam was jobbed out to the utterly immobile Giant and next was squashed by the one man gang at wrestlemania 4. As long as I have my title hulkamaniacs. They stick him with Oliver Humperdink? Guy was a heel manager his whole life and he played a shitty face. Bam Bam then left and came back as a heel. His highlight was definitely King Of The Ring 1993 when he went to the finals. He got lazier in the ring because he could see no one had faith in him. Then they job him out to a football player. That never helps.

ECW was a pretty cool period for Bam Bam. He worked that style for the first time in his career. I remember when he turned on Taz to form the Triple Threat with Candido and Douglas, which was cool. Still though, the highest he ever got was the TV title. The ONLY title he’s ever held aside from the WCW hardcore title. His matches with Taz didn’t really click either.

Arriving in WCW in the late 90s amidst similar hub bub, Bam Bam called out Goldberg like a true badass. This was big for WCW, which was definitely a more toned down product than the racy Raw episodes. “I want Goldberg! I want Goldberg!” The feud should have headlined Starrcade as the title match. I remember being so excited about this when it happened. At a time when WCW was having exciting moments fewer and further between them. Needless to say, they went with Kevin Nash because he had to end Goldberg’s streak. And then Hogan had to be champion again. And that killed Goldberg too. Two birds with one stone! And Bam Bam was left to be involved in taser attacks by Scott Hall. The taser, one of the truly mind numbingly and lazy ideas in wrestling. It sucks. Do a move for Christ sake. Now a Razor’s Edge on Bam Bam, that would be impressive. The raging fire started by Bam Bam’s entrance into WCW had turned into an unlit candle. He did some hardcore matches later in WCW, they reformed the ECW triple threat one night and then of course completely forget about it subsequently. Obviously, after being fucked with for so lon, his heart just didn’t seem into. Or maybe he wasn’t well, or both. RIP Bam Bam. As a good friend of mine has always said, “Bam Bam’s my champion.” Amazing to think what could have been.


Viral Video of the Day (3/9/08)

Adam Schleichkorn Sunday, March 9, 2008 ,

"Chocolate Rain" Original Song by Tay Zonday

This clip became an overnight internet phenomenon. This really happened because no one was expecting the deepest voice ever to come out of this dude, on top of the song being extremely catchy! Listen to this once through, and be prepared to be singing this in your head for the rest of the day. He remains a novelty act to this day, but if he gets on the right track for himself, he can quickly become a more-famous novelty act. FYI - He looks young as hell, but he's actually like 25 or 26, which pushes him further into the novelty category. I know for a fact that there's good music on Youtube, but if some one can please show me an actual good song that was featured, I'd be shocked!

FREE MP3! Right-click and SAVE!

This MP3 is subject to a Creative Commons License. Creative Commons License Details:

Sony Acid Planet Contest With Original A Capella Vocals:

Heads up to remixers: I'm not sure how the long term commercial rights to the song will develop, but all commercial rights are generally reserved.

"Chocolate Rain"
Copyright 2010