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God Save The Knicks

Dan Taft Thursday, April 3, 2008 , ,
Don't get too excited yet Knicks fans. I'm talking to both of you. Just because Grampa Walsh is taking over basketball operations for the Knickerbockers does not mean we are out of the woods yet. Not by a long shot.
Let me tell you both something. No one knows more about this shit storm we call a team than me. First of all, I knew Walsh was coming to the Knicks nearly a month ago. How, you ask? Unnamed sources, I answer. Let's just say I have my ear to the ground, and you don't- got it? Now, on to more pressing matters.
Hiring Walsh is a step in the right direction. But more needs to be done. Much more. I wrote about how to fix the Knicks a while back, but I think my blog was nixed, pun intended, by the almighty boss of bosses, Schleichkorn. Anyhoo, today is a new day, so I'm about to do Donnie a big solid. I know he reads my blog religiously, so here goes. This is how to fix the Knicks:

1. Fire Isiah and hire a real coach- This is long over due. The chump needs to go. So long, d-bag.

2. Draft Derrick Rose- We are going to get a top draft pick. If the balls bounce our way, or if the fix is in (see 1985 draft), we can easily land the number 1 or number 2 pick. We need a real point guard, and Derrick Rose fits the bill.

3. Trade Stephon Marbury for Jermaine O'Neal- Steph has a $21 million expiring contract, and the Pacers are in a transitional mode. They will be looking to dump O'Neals contract, and it isn't too long to take on. O'Neal will instantly give the Knicks a shotblocking, low post all-star that they sorely lack. Who cares if he only plays 62 games a year? Eddy Curry and Zach Randolph are the non-rapping version of the Fat Boys. Speaking of which...

4. Trade Zach and Eddy- This is going to be tough. 2 fat-asses who don't play defense. Obviously they can't be traded together, but split 'em up and send 'em packin'. Just try to get some short term or expiring contracts for these losers.

5. Buy out Jerome James- No one, and I mean no one, is more useless than Big Snacks. See ya later loser. Can't trade him, so just do what I used to do with Schleichkorn- pay him to go away.

6. This leaves the Knicks with a lineup looking like this:

pg- Rose,Robinson,Collins
sg- Crawford,QRich,Jones
sf- Chandler,Balkman,Jeffries

I realize that we need 2 other big guys who i only labeled as shotblocker and shotblocker/scorer respectively, but we can figure that out. This is a good start- if need be I'll attend camp myself and fill in those 2 empty big man slots. I get the job
done son.


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