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Savage Speaks: Buff Bagwell

Marc Muchnik Friday, February 22, 2008

God, here's a guy that epitomizes why WCW went under. Some of you may not know that Buff Daddy was around Dubya C Dubya since the early 90s, wrestling as a white bread tool babyface named Marcus Alexander Bagwell. He teamed with Scorpio and the Patriot and had a few tag title reigns. One good thing however was that he was a decent, if unspectacular worker. The American Males tag team with Scotty Riggs, while being one of the gayer teams in recent memory with an equally gay theme song, is always a fun thing about Buff to make fun off. Buff was definitely one of the reasons the NWO is so watered down, and that we have people like Mike Rotunda, Vincent and Buff Bagwell. Buff's workrate totally tanked when he joined the NWO because I guess when you're NWO you're damn lazy in the ring, FOR LIFE. Anyone remember Vicious and Delicious? Oh you don't, well then screw you! You can imagine how much worse he got when Rick Steiner (I know, such a safe worker in his own right) performed the neckbreaking bulldog on Buff, and surprise, surprise, broke his neck. This was during a time when Buff would team with Rick Steiner and then turn on him in alternating weeks, This storyline thus made Rick Steiner out to be possibly the dumbest character in an industry that prides itself on characters sporting IQs of 70 or under. Ahh, gotta love wrestling logic. Buff's mother was also involved in some storylines despite being the least likable or talented person ever to set foot in a wrestling ring. And she was being pushed as a face! She was one half of the god damn tag team champions god dammit, what a fucking sham! I still have nightmares of fat Tony saying, Judge Judy Bagwell, Judy Bagwell on a pole, Judge Judy Bagwell, Meh!!!
Buff's the kind of wrestler who 12 years into his career, like Jeffy Hardy, the announcers are still saying what a youngster he is. Buff is the rare wrestler who just got worse and worse as time went by, with no redeeming qualities by the end in a tag team with Lex Luger, Totally Roided, err I mean Buffed. Luger later stated that they used to bully the guys giving the piss test for drugs. I know, I am totally shocked as you all must be. Jesus Christ they had these two yahoos ended Goldberg's WCW career. No wonder WCW lost like a hundred billion dollars in a year. Buff did have a somewhat catchy theme song and entrance (I never minded the hat), and his finisher would have been cool (Buff Blockbuster) if he didn't look like he was going to kill the other person or himself every time he performed it. He was one of the last wrestlers I would have thought would have a chance getting near a WWE ring once WCW folded, but there he was wrestling Booker T in the first high profile match on WWE TV with WCW superstars. Of course, the match was beyond atrocious, making blown spots an artform. The crowd completely turned on the match, and Buff has been wrestling in high school gyms in front of 17 people popping Oxycontin and Soma ever since. Lady's and Gentlemen, the master of the Buff Blockbuster, Buffffff Baaaagwell!!!!!
 
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