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Writer's Block

Dan Taft Tuesday, February 19, 2008 ,

I'm trying to write a blog. You may not know this loyal fans, but I only write to appease the mighty Godfather of Fence Plowing. You see, I am indebted to him. The story goes like this: A long time ago, in a place really quite close to here, I was in trouble. A whole heap of trouble. I owed these rough characters about $250. Problem was, I didn't have $250. The days passed, and I was really looking over my shoulder. And then one day, out of the blue, it happened. 2 big ninja-guys jumped out of a bush I was walking by and grabbed me. They tied me up and threw me in the trunk of their car. I was scared. Real scared. I didn't have any idea where they were
taking me, and all I could hear was the cackling howls of 2 clearly evil beings in the front of the vehicle as they sped away with my slowly dying carcass in the trunk.
Anyhoo, the car came to a screeching halt- I thought I was a goner for sure. But then I heard a loud thump, then another even louder thump. And then, daylight. When the trunk of that car opened I saw before my eyes the most glorious, nappy headed Jew I had ever seen. It was him; the Godfather. He took my hand and helped me out of my compromised position, chopped the binds that had imprisoned me for so long with his bagel knife and I was free at last. Or so I thought.
It turned out, the Godfather had bigger plans for me in mind. This incident was no random coincidence. Oh no, quite the contrary. The Godfather had long sought to use me as a pawn in his grand scheme to become a famous creator of low budget straight to DVD releases starring his talentless friends from his humble Long Island roots. And so it was- from that day forth I was forced into a state of slave labor, ruthlessly forced to type out long and slightly humorous blogs for this Jewish gangster and his goons. But, all in all, I can't complain.


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