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Savage Speaks: Sid Vicious

Marc Muchnik Monday, February 25, 2008

God, I really, really wanted to like Sid throughout his wrestling career. I mean talk about a guy who had the look of a killer, the chiseled physique, impressive stature, the mannerisms of a star. He had a devastating one armed chokeslam and brutal powerbomb back when those moves were special and not used by half of the roster.
And then he threw a punch. And 12 year old girls around the world laughed at how such a monster could throw such a sissy punch. The physics of Sid's punch defied logic. His fist would go in all different directions. I mean, there have been some bad, bad workers to wrestle professionally in history. But no one, absolutely no one had a worked punch that looked as bad a Sid's.
Another thing about Sid was that despite, again the monster size and stature, he was often booked to look like a complete pussy. Take Capital Combat 1990. Oh you all remember folks, the return of Robocop! You have a fucking actor in tin foil walking at negative miles per hour and you have ALL of the Horsemen, Flair, Andersons, Windham and Sid running away from him while JR proclaims "BY gawd its Robocop, he broke through that cage!" Later when he fueded with Diesel in the WWF, despite being psycho he would often take a countout like a big puss.
Then you have the bizarre personal life. What I consider the worst botched spot of all time and probably took years off Brian Pillman's life was the infamous Wargames powerbomb. Uh, you dropped him right on his head and almost paralyzed him, what should we do now? Do it again you say? Marvelous! Idiot. The scissor fight with arn anderson, the incident where he threatened Pillman with a squeegie. This guy ain't no brain surgeon for sure. Oh and he loves to take sabbaticals from wrestling during softball season. All of that sort of shatters the whole "monster" illusion.
Sid had a great entrance and music with the WWF. He could do a kip up too. Also, oh wait that's all as far as redeeming qualities. But by gawd I still, still wanted to like him soo soo much. He just sucked soo soo bad. Finally a note on his career ending injury. I say if you are going to attempt to perform such a ridiculously bad move off the ropes, you deserve to have your leg snapped in half like a pretzels. Lots of roids, brittle bones. Ladies and Gentleman, The master of the powerbomb and the ruler of the woorld, Siiiiid Vicious!


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