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5 Great things about being a Metalhead (Savage Speaks)

Marc Muchnik Wednesday, June 25, 2008
1) People are scared of you just because of the music you listen to:
Some of this music is so extreme, violent sounding, and evil, and others are intimidated just because the metal brethren can not only handle, but enjoy such an auditory assault.

2) Heavy metal music can be used as a weapon:
I recently heard a great story about American troops blasting the fuck out of some Taliban hideaways by playing Deicide at a massive volume. While I think that this is a bullshit war by most accounts, I am proud of the military for this one. When one of my jerk friends is pissing me off and I’m driving, I will just turn up the dial on some Cannibal Corpse or Decapitated. Come on Sav, we’re just trying to chill here. Yea me too, bring on the Dying Fetus!!

3) There is some amazing musicianship underneath those generic death growls:
I have no patience for those who immediately shut off from a particular band because “they can’t hear what the guy is saying.” Uh, I think its something about blood and death and war guy. No but seriously, some of these bands topple some deep subject areas, such as psychology, metaphysics, history and politics. This is not to say that I love everyone’s vocal style, or lack thereof (Radiohead I’m looking in your direction), but I give every musician a chance to impress me. (God, I still can’t figure out why Radiohead has such a following!).

4) Metal listeners have their own subculture:
We can talk for hours to a complete stranger about why Richard Christie is an insane drummer or Steve Digiorgio is a bass god. I find true metal heads to be few and far between, and a meeting between us can be a rewarding and invigorating experience.

5) The girls flock to you:
Well, no this actually isn’t true.


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