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5 Nutrition Mistakes That Piss the Hell Out Of Me (Savage Speaks)

Marc Muchnik Saturday, June 28, 2008
1) Diet drinks and sweeteners

Say it with me-You are better off having some plain old table sugar than any product that has NutraSweet, aspartame, equal, acesulfame potassium, etc. Sure, you’ll save some calories, but what you will earn is digestive problems, carcinogenic effects, toxicity to the liver and possible damage to brain tissue. In addition, these products are so god damn sweet that they’ve been shown to cause sugar cravings anyway! Try stevia, xylitol, or unrefined evaporated can juice.

2) Eating lots of dairy for calcium and protein

Dairy foods are the single biggest cause of mucus buildup in the body. Studies have shown that the more mucus you have, the less healthy you are and the shorter you will live. Think about it; we are the only animals that drink other animal’s milk. It’s rather gross, and dairy calcium is poorly absorbed. Cheese is even worse, acting as a quesomorphin, in which when you eat cheese, it binds to some of the same receptors that narcotics do. And it sits like an anvil in your stomach. Cream cheese doesn’t even have any protein, and is the Satan of cheese, which is evil to start with. The only innocent among the dairy family is yogurt. Eat up!

3) Avoiding beans because they give you gas

Absurd!!! Beans are a great source of fiber, protein and iron. Add them anywhere to anything. They’re also cheap as hell. And they clean you out. That’s the fiber in them bitches. Don’t end up like John Wayne on a morgue table with 50 pounds of undigested meat in your colon. You know what really gives you gas? A diet of McDonald’s, sausages, and beer!!!!

4) Avoiding fat because it is high in calories

Making the list, I am progressively becoming more enraged by the stupidity of some people; it is not fat in general that you should worry about, it is the type of fat. Omega 3 fats and monounsaturated are extremely beneficial to the body, and can be found in all nuts, seeds, and fish. If you want to eat fish, just be careful to limit tuna consumption, as you’ll be ingesting that tuna on rye with a nice side of mercury if you’re not careful. Margarine is not necessarily healthier than butter, because of all the extra chemicals that they douse it with. Coconut and chocolate, especially dark, both of which have maligned throughout recent history, have tremendous health benefits. If I hear another anorexic looking broad say “I was so bad today, I put mayo on my sandwich.” Grrrrrrrr

5) Skipping breakfast

Absolute heresy in the church of nutrition, yet so many still do it. Some because they don’t have time, some because they want to save their calories. Do me a favor and save me from your malfunctioning brains, which have already taken over this zombie-like consumer culture. If you go to sleep every night, which most of us do, then you’re already without food for six hours or so. Some longer. Feed your brain!


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