The readers of my wrestling columns know me as a ferocious wrestling mind. But I am also an avid weightlifter and personal trainer. I know all of you sweat hogs are going to be hitting the gym in droves in anticipation of the upcoming summer months. Let the savage facilitate your fat burning and muscle building to its potential. In my first installment, I’ll be discussing my personal pet peeves of workout mistakes. You dumb schmucks; you KNOW that’s not the right way to do it!
1) Running with hands to the side - uh are you guys serious? Anyone who has ever played youth sports or HAS EVEN BEEN in a fricken GYM CLASS knows that you run with yours arms moving back and forth. This motion helps to provide balance to the natural motion of your legs while running. Not only that, BUT PEOPLE look absolutely ridiculous when they run and don’t move their arms. It’s like the really unathletic KID FROM school following his neighborhood chums who want nothing to do with his LOSERDOME, “Wait up guys, AW MAN, wait up!” Disgraceful.
2) Really fast weightlifting - THIS is a delusional tactic used by some to a) get in and out of the gym quickly and b) to look like their lifting more weight than if they actually used proper form. Oh hey, I’m bouncing the weights off my chest on the bench press, yea! Not only is this poor form, inefficient and increases your risk of injury, you look like a tool. some of THESE MORONS look like they’re doing some new kind of Tony Little workout DANCE ROUTINE.
3) Using machines instead of free weight squats - I use this as a measure of whether SOMEONE IS REALLY SERIOUS about lifting. The benefits of a free weight squat, with all of the stabilizing and balance that is involved, just CRUSH ANY machine’s effectiveness. I have even more CONTEMPT FOR people who disregard legs altogether, as working these muscles pumps testosterone to the rest of the body. Look, I do not look forward to leg day in the slightest, but if you don’t do free-weight leg exercises (squats, hack squats, front squats, dumbell sumo squats) for the bulk of your workout you don’t even deserve to call it leg day. Oh, I’ll just do another 20 calf raises-blech!!!!
4) Behind the NECK LAT pulldown - do you even know what this exercise is working? There are so many better exercises for shoulders and upper back muscles, NOT to mention one’s that do not put continual stress on your rotator cuff. I just don’t get it with this exercise, do people think that they look cool when they do it
5) Not working out - THIS is actually a trick one. I don’t know how many people I talk to with weight problems that are so proud of themselves when they skip a meal, or when they haven’t eaten all day. Why don’t you get off your ass and take a walk or something!!!! I dated a girl recently that drank soda because it made her feel full, and belonged to a gym but only went tanning there. Needless to say this relationship didn’t last long. No amount of witholding food can account for Physical activity. If YOU’RE active, you can eat the right foods IN REASONABLE portions instead of telling your body that YOU’RE starving, which actually makes it harder to lose weight.
Bonus: The Post Workout cigarette-way to flush all that hard work down the toliet pal.
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