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Savage Speaks: Chris Kanyon

Marc Muchnik Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Kanyon. Who betta than Kanyon? Chris Kanyon the wrestler first entered my radar in the mid 90s for a WCW Saturday Night jobber tag team known as Men at Work. And if you thought that a construction gimmick wouldn't light the world on fire, you'd be right. While we're on the subject, lets think about forming a Construction faction. You could have such luminaries as Road Block, Man's Man William Regal, Big Josh. You could even bring in the Union and have them feud. Yay!!! A year or so later, WCW, in the midst of the real boon of the NOW, 97 or so, started building up to what undoubtedly would be the biggest wrestling event in the history of our sport: the arrival of Glacier. Glacier ended up being a huge disappointment, as the faux sub zero karate gimmick was somewhat insulting and Glacier had the exact opposite of charisma, whatever that is. But what we did get out of it, was at least SOME exposure for Chris Kanyon. As a Halloween costumed wrestler from Glacier's past called Mortis. I admit I really liked his music, James Vandenburg as a manager and even his association with Wrath. However, the ONLY person Kanyon would ever wrestle would be Glacier, who he was usually jobbed out to. Gotta protect those main eventers, Big Sexy, Lex Luthore, Dennis Rodman. Then followed Kanyon's association with Raven and the flock, and that was all confusing but Raven was always cool, so that was a step up. I'll never forget when Kanyon and Raven are at Raven's mansion and Raven's mom tells Kanyon to look after Scott. Touching. Then came the jersey triad and I have to say, Kanyon, Bigelow and DDP, while maybe a decent idea on paper, formed a pretty goofy tandem. I remember them being destroyed by an ancient Hogan and Goldberg. Inexplicable, but that's WCW for ya.

Kanyon had some terrific moves in the ring, and was termed the innovator of offense. He does get criticized for maybe not having as much match psychology but I always loved his creativity. My friends and I would always watch and comment how Kanyon would invent a new move every week. He played the smarmy heel role best. If marketed right, this guy could be a money pit. He took fantastic bumps as well, which is a huge plus. His prominent lisp was a hindrance to his promo ability and maybe his ability to be taken that seriously. He did get the crowd chanting who better than Kanyon. Crowd: Everybody! Savage (Fuck crowd) Nobody!

WWE had Kanyon and of course jobbed him to the moon, and I believe he's been saying now that his being homosexual was one of the reasons he was forced out. Whatever it was I think it's a crying shame because the man had potential and could take a mean bump. At least he added some years onto his life by quitting now. Ladies of Gentleman, the Innovator of Offense, Kannnnyon!!!!!


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